Hamster Outperforms Warren Buffett, Cathie Wood & the S&P 500

“A Random Walk Down Wall Street” author, Burton Malkiel’s assertion that “a blindfolded monkey throwing darts at a stock ticker list” could outperform professional stockbrokers has finally come true – except instead of a monkey, it’s a hamster, and instead of throwing darts at a list of stocks, the hamster has been trading crypto in an elaborate experiment.

Since June 12th, a hamster named Mr. Goxx has been trading cryptocurrencies in a unique cage programmed to buy and sell coins based on the hamster’s movements. Mr. Goxx is now outperforming the S&P 500, Warren Buffet, Cathie Wood, and even Bitcoin.

As of Friday, Goxx’s portfolio was up 24% since June 12th, and all of his success stems from his habitual hamster behavior. As Goxx passes through tunnels in his cage or runs in his hamster wheel, the hamster triggers cryptocurrency trades.

Goxx begins his transactions by running on what his owner has coined the “intention wheel”, which enables him to choose one out of the thirty cryptocurrencies he’s currently trading. Next, Goxx enters one of two “decision tunnels”, which result in “buy” or “sell” orders being placed.

Goxx began his crypto journey with a mere $390, according to Protos, and trades in 20 Euro increments. Earlier this month, he hit a portfolio high of approximately $580 while trading crypto including XRP and Ether. Given the interest that has been generated in Goxx, the hamster may soon gain the autonomy to pick the amount that he invests.

For those eager to watch Mr. Goxx in action, his live streams are accessible on Twitch and he tweets his trades on Twitter. As an “honourable business rodent”, according to his owners, Goxx will be paying 35% taxes on all of his returns. As it stands, Goxx is whittling away at the initial cost of producing his stellar hamster cage.

What can we take away from Goxx’s case? It would of course be foolish to read too much into the short-term success of a few random trades with a sample size of one, however, the case clearly shows that in a bull market, even buying and selling crypto randomly is better than not buying at all. As crypto continues to outperform the stock market, it doesn’t take an expert to benefit from the growth that the space has seen in recent years. 

However, while Mr. Goxx has clearly got lucky, and benefited from actively trading. Such an approach may be unwise. In most cases, simply buying and holding – or “hodling” crypto is by far the safest strategy.

As always, this article does not constitute financial advice and you should be sure to do your own research and consult a professional financial advisor before making any investment decision.

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